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Today's run
May 29, 2012 - walked/ran for a total of 6605 steps. Hahaha! I know, I know - next time I'll use the timer to calculate my ran. One whole round in our village park is 0.7km. Today I ran six times, which makes it a total of 4.2 km.
I'll come up with a better system of tracking and logging my runs as I go along. Will also write down the times I swim, play badminton, and ugh, hit the gym for the weights and machines. Hahaha
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I'll come up with a better system of tracking and logging my runs as I go along. Will also write down the times I swim, play badminton, and ugh, hit the gym for the weights and machines. Hahaha
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It's all up to You now, JC
These recent turn of events have forced me to really stop and think of all my life decisions. I was not expecting this will be the result - I mean, I guess a part of me at the back of my head (which I have repressed) was thinking that this is within the realm of possibilities. But I never would have guessed that this WILL be the reality in a few weeks.
Talk about a wake up call. Over the past several days, I have been furiously thinking of all my next steps. A big part of me wants to just take a step back, start from a clean slate. And I truly feel that this is what I should be doing. The thing is, I really do not mind starting over. It's just that I got so many bills to pay, a household to support, plus a company loan which I need to pay off that I get worried. Plus, there's that fear of the uncertain: what will happen to me? Can I really afford to start over? What about my Dad? What will the others say?
So now, I'm just going to give up. No, I don't mean not doing anything. Or ending my life, even - I'm too optimistic to even consider that. I'm giving up making my decisions alone. I need Him to guide me. I need to pray, reflect meditate. I need to listen to what He has to say. I have always wondered: how exactly does one do this? What should I do? How do I let go of the reins? I'm still a bit confused with this, to be honest. I probably need to talk to a priest. A really good one.
What I can say is this - this will only make me stronger. So, JC, I leave it all up to You. How do I go about this? I'm a bit scared, yes. But my faith in You is stronger than my fear. Thank You for this opportunity to truly follow Your will.
Talk about a wake up call. Over the past several days, I have been furiously thinking of all my next steps. A big part of me wants to just take a step back, start from a clean slate. And I truly feel that this is what I should be doing. The thing is, I really do not mind starting over. It's just that I got so many bills to pay, a household to support, plus a company loan which I need to pay off that I get worried. Plus, there's that fear of the uncertain: what will happen to me? Can I really afford to start over? What about my Dad? What will the others say?
So now, I'm just going to give up. No, I don't mean not doing anything. Or ending my life, even - I'm too optimistic to even consider that. I'm giving up making my decisions alone. I need Him to guide me. I need to pray, reflect meditate. I need to listen to what He has to say. I have always wondered: how exactly does one do this? What should I do? How do I let go of the reins? I'm still a bit confused with this, to be honest. I probably need to talk to a priest. A really good one.
What I can say is this - this will only make me stronger. So, JC, I leave it all up to You. How do I go about this? I'm a bit scared, yes. But my faith in You is stronger than my fear. Thank You for this opportunity to truly follow Your will.
Let's see... Thinking of the way forward
Got a few more days before I find out my fate in this company. Although, one would suppose it's pretty clear-cut. It's really sad, but that's the cold, hard truth. That is why I waited a couple of weeks before writing this entry. I wouldn't want to write while the emotions are too real, too raw.
I need to plan my next steps. Paying off my loan is on top of my list. Hopefully, this would be addressed. Can't spell out how exactly, but let's just say my slate would be wiped clean if that pushes through.
*Entry was written on March 23, 2012
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I need to plan my next steps. Paying off my loan is on top of my list. Hopefully, this would be addressed. Can't spell out how exactly, but let's just say my slate would be wiped clean if that pushes through.
*Entry was written on March 23, 2012
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Waiting to Exhale
The good news is, we're past the halfway mark. Just a few more steps and then we'll know the results. Only then can we fully exhale and hopefully, breathe a sigh of relief. :-)
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Halfway into February
In here right now in my room this Saturday afternoon. It is almost 3pm, and I haven't slept yet since last night. Guess my mind's in hyperactive mode. Damn bipolar disorder. Lol. Seriously though, I need to get some rest. The good thing about my current situation is that I could adjust my body clock to better adapt into the night shift. Better change my alarm clock then. Shall we say, 9pm? Very well then. I initially set it to 630pm, as I was thinking of going to the spa tonight. Thank God I decided to blog. Helps me save money too. Lol.
Got our Teach-Back assignments for the Train the Facilitator session on EiCS. I noticed that I get the most air time out of all participants. I told my friends it could mean two things - either it's because the Global Learning Advisor thought I'm potentially one of the good ones, or that I have the most to prove during the session; hence the huge air time. Of course, I prefer to think of it as the former. When I checked on my first topic, I realized it was one of the heavier topics, too. I really need to prepare for this accreditation. My next desired role is in Training, and if they really are considering our class as the potential candidate pool, then I am up against several good people, too. Plus, there's also the fact that other people who are NOT in our class can also fill in the trainer role quite suitably. A colleague of mine was in fact a trainer prior to joining our company. He may not be in our class,but he is a very good candidate as well.
I haven't seen my Instituto friends since the year started. I must say,I miss them. The thing is, they've hung out a couple of times already, but I was not able to join them. The first time was due to the fact that I needed to rest, whilst the other times were because of financial constraints. Last week they went to the hot air balloon festival in Clark, and tomorrow they are watching Mamma Mia. Jealous much! But I got no choice, have a lot of responsibilities that come first before the arts and culture. Why do musicals have to be so darn expensive? Oh well... But I do hope to get to see them soon, even for breakfast or hangout on a Sunday, perhaps.
Dunno if this is a repeat, but my friend from work finally downloaded the Armin van Buuren discography. And what a compilation - we are talking about 8gb worth!!! From his earlier albums dating as far back as 1999, to the A State Of Trance of 2010. Amazing! He is such an amazing DJ, and his music is one I could listen to the whole day. Of course, I shared the music with my good friend and current boss. Needless to say, she loves it too! :-)
Tomorrow I need to check my progress against my 2012 goals. Might do it in my other blog, but the important thing is that there is a commitment ti follow through. Wish me luck!
That's all for now. Just want to say that this entire entrywas written using the touch screen qwerty keyboard of my BlackBerry. Amazing! I always felt before that it's a bit uncomfortable, but right now, while I'm typing this, it feels just right.
Laters.
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How's everybody doing? I've been so out of it these past several weeks. Been working at least 10 hours EVERYDAY. No kidding. My team roster has DOUBLED in February. From 8 FTEs to sixteen. That's right, sixteen. Been conducting training for the past two weeks. At the same time, making sure we meet all the "normal" deliverables. On top of it all, I am working on 3 different projects which all involve the upcoming integration/re-organization. It's tough, I have to admit. But enough of work for now.
One of the plus sides is I've been slowly working my way back to hitting the gym (note the word "slowly"). Been doing it once a week for the past couple of weeks now. This week, I will increase the frequency to three times - two times purely cardio (treadmill, bike), once for lifting. The running part, I am thinking of doing it outdoors instead. Legazpi Park is nearby, plus there's always the village park too. Running indoors can be so boring for me. Plus, I realized that I run longer when I do it outdoors. Guess a change in environment can really work wonders. So, for this week, I'll do cardio on Monday (that's today), then cardio/weights on Wednesday, and cardio again on Friday. Sounds like a plan! Let me put that in my planner as well. Okay, done! :-)
My goal, which I've written down in my other blog, is to go back to 175 lbs by May 2012. I think I have to tweak it a bit - move it up to April 2012, plus achieve a specific body fat percentage (maybe a range to be more realistic). I have to measure my current body fat percentage first. I'm wondering if a 10-12% goal is feasible in less than three months. That means I would really have to go on a virtually fat-free diet, increase my caloric expenditure, and get lots of rest. Wish me luck! I would have to check by visiting my nearest drugstore which has a computerized height/weight/measurement scanner, which includes body fat percentage. After which, I would have to review my goals and re-sharpen my goals if necessary.
That's all for now! Time to tune in to the Grammys.
One of the plus sides is I've been slowly working my way back to hitting the gym (note the word "slowly"). Been doing it once a week for the past couple of weeks now. This week, I will increase the frequency to three times - two times purely cardio (treadmill, bike), once for lifting. The running part, I am thinking of doing it outdoors instead. Legazpi Park is nearby, plus there's always the village park too. Running indoors can be so boring for me. Plus, I realized that I run longer when I do it outdoors. Guess a change in environment can really work wonders. So, for this week, I'll do cardio on Monday (that's today), then cardio/weights on Wednesday, and cardio again on Friday. Sounds like a plan! Let me put that in my planner as well. Okay, done! :-)
My goal, which I've written down in my other blog, is to go back to 175 lbs by May 2012. I think I have to tweak it a bit - move it up to April 2012, plus achieve a specific body fat percentage (maybe a range to be more realistic). I have to measure my current body fat percentage first. I'm wondering if a 10-12% goal is feasible in less than three months. That means I would really have to go on a virtually fat-free diet, increase my caloric expenditure, and get lots of rest. Wish me luck! I would have to check by visiting my nearest drugstore which has a computerized height/weight/measurement scanner, which includes body fat percentage. After which, I would have to review my goals and re-sharpen my goals if necessary.
That's all for now! Time to tune in to the Grammys.
Two blogs, different purposes
I have decided to keep BOTH my tumblr and blogger accounts. I have had tumblr since 2007, and blogger before that.
Tumblr will be mostly for pictures, quirky articles, music.
Blogger will be for thoughts on work, life, books, travels.
Of course, I could always post the same article on both sites. Wish me luck!
Tumblr will be mostly for pictures, quirky articles, music.
Blogger will be for thoughts on work, life, books, travels.
Of course, I could always post the same article on both sites. Wish me luck!
These are all the many changes...
I knew that this year will bring a lot of changes, challenges, opportunities, etc. It's something that I felt deep inside, like instinct, a gut-feel sort of thing, you know? Plus, the fact that all horoscopes I read corroborate this feeling. They say that the Rooster (which is my sign) is a secret friend of the Dragon (this year's sign), which means that this will be a good year for me. I also read that the "luck" that will come my way won't happen until later this year, and that I would have to work hard first before it comes. When you look at it another way, the universe is telling me that in order for me to receive luck, I must work hard for it. Luck favors those who are prepared, right? So there.
What I didn't realize is exactly HOW much changes will go on during the year. The month's not over, plus it's officially been only a week since the Lunar New Year began, but already I've been through a roller coaster of a journey. From changes that directly impact me and my role, to organizational changes which have either "leaked out" or which I found out from various credible sources, it's amazing how I managed to cope. A friend and I were discussing this, and we were wondering if it was better that we didn't know what is to come,if we just "go with the flow," so to speak. I told her that, personally, while some of the information is pretty hard to swallow, I'd rather that it would be this way - that I find out ahead of others (even if "ahead" here means a few weeks, or even days, ahead). That way, I would have time to think, and rethink, my next steps. I've always felt that it was never easy for me here at work. By knowing what is to come, I could plan ahead.
Change management is "a structured approach to shifting/transitioning individuals, teams, and organizations from a current state to a desired future state. It is an organizational process aimed at helping employees to accept and embrace changes in their current business environment" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Change_management). I have to admit, I have much to learn about change management as a discipline. In my organization, I think I am not alone. The company has recently hired a Change and Engage Manager in order to help everyone deal with what is to come in the several months. What we need to emphasize to everyone that these changes are all about improving performance. The ultimate benchmark of performance in our case is customer satisfaction, or CSI. This year, our goal is to reach 8.5, a score which is considered "best-in-class." Coming from barely reaching last year's target of 7.5, this MIGHT seem like a herculean task. After all, here we are with all these changes, restructuring, re-organization, and so forth, and on top of it we have to meet a higher target? What gives, right? But what we need to embrace is this: the fact we are undergoing a lot of changes is to reach our goals. This may sound far-fetched, or even crazy, to some, but I fully believe this is a fact.
Paradigm shift. As a leader, we are presented with these changes almost first-hand (after the managers, of course). Not only are there changes in our roles, but also with how we look at rewards and consequences. We have been raised in a culture of "punishment" - if you fail to do something, there is a corresponding consequence. Take the matter of attendance - if you fail to come to work (whether due to an emergency or health reasons), it will be taken out of your performance bonus and your score. However, the direction right now is a radical change on how we treat non-performers. During a leadership meeting, the plans were unveiled (a bit hastily, it was not part of the agenda but HR felt it was needed at the time, since all questions were pertaining to that anyway), and some found it a bit difficult to swallow. I myself raised a few questions, and a couple of people supported me; but it turns out they were looking at it differently from my point of view, that everything got twisted and screwed up during the discussion. Sheesh. Anyway, my whole point is this: paradigm shift. A change in the basic assumptions. A change in the way of thinking. From a geocentric model of the universe, a paradigm shift occured. Now we know that the sun is the center of our solar system (that is why it is called the SOLAR system, hahaha!).
I need to end this article now, and so I leave you with a paragraph taken from an article on the web. The link is http://www.taketheleap.com/define.html, and I hope you like this:
What I didn't realize is exactly HOW much changes will go on during the year. The month's not over, plus it's officially been only a week since the Lunar New Year began, but already I've been through a roller coaster of a journey. From changes that directly impact me and my role, to organizational changes which have either "leaked out" or which I found out from various credible sources, it's amazing how I managed to cope. A friend and I were discussing this, and we were wondering if it was better that we didn't know what is to come,if we just "go with the flow," so to speak. I told her that, personally, while some of the information is pretty hard to swallow, I'd rather that it would be this way - that I find out ahead of others (even if "ahead" here means a few weeks, or even days, ahead). That way, I would have time to think, and rethink, my next steps. I've always felt that it was never easy for me here at work. By knowing what is to come, I could plan ahead.
Change management is "a structured approach to shifting/transitioning individuals, teams, and organizations from a current state to a desired future state. It is an organizational process aimed at helping employees to accept and embrace changes in their current business environment" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Change_management). I have to admit, I have much to learn about change management as a discipline. In my organization, I think I am not alone. The company has recently hired a Change and Engage Manager in order to help everyone deal with what is to come in the several months. What we need to emphasize to everyone that these changes are all about improving performance. The ultimate benchmark of performance in our case is customer satisfaction, or CSI. This year, our goal is to reach 8.5, a score which is considered "best-in-class." Coming from barely reaching last year's target of 7.5, this MIGHT seem like a herculean task. After all, here we are with all these changes, restructuring, re-organization, and so forth, and on top of it we have to meet a higher target? What gives, right? But what we need to embrace is this: the fact we are undergoing a lot of changes is to reach our goals. This may sound far-fetched, or even crazy, to some, but I fully believe this is a fact.
Paradigm shift. As a leader, we are presented with these changes almost first-hand (after the managers, of course). Not only are there changes in our roles, but also with how we look at rewards and consequences. We have been raised in a culture of "punishment" - if you fail to do something, there is a corresponding consequence. Take the matter of attendance - if you fail to come to work (whether due to an emergency or health reasons), it will be taken out of your performance bonus and your score. However, the direction right now is a radical change on how we treat non-performers. During a leadership meeting, the plans were unveiled (a bit hastily, it was not part of the agenda but HR felt it was needed at the time, since all questions were pertaining to that anyway), and some found it a bit difficult to swallow. I myself raised a few questions, and a couple of people supported me; but it turns out they were looking at it differently from my point of view, that everything got twisted and screwed up during the discussion. Sheesh. Anyway, my whole point is this: paradigm shift. A change in the basic assumptions. A change in the way of thinking. From a geocentric model of the universe, a paradigm shift occured. Now we know that the sun is the center of our solar system (that is why it is called the SOLAR system, hahaha!).
I need to end this article now, and so I leave you with a paragraph taken from an article on the web. The link is http://www.taketheleap.com/define.html, and I hope you like this:
"In conclusion, for millions of years we have been evolving and will continue to do so. Change is difficult. Human Beings resist change; however, the process has been set in motion long ago and we will continue to co-create our own experience. Kuhn states that "awareness is prerequisite to all acceptable changes of theory" (p. 67). It all begins in the mind of the person. What we perceive, whether normal or metanormal, conscious or unconscious, are subject to the limitations and distortions produced by our inherited and socially conditional nature. However, we are not restricted by this for we can change. We are moving at an accelerated rate of speed and our state of consciousness is transforming and transcending. Many are awakening as our conscious awareness expands."
Deep breaths
I may have let my friendship get in the way to progression here at work. I'm feeling really sad right now, but I MUST wake up. Snap out of it, channel my energy into doing something productive, and reap the benefits afterwards. Heck, I've always said it never came easy for me, so why should it now? Especially now, when everything is about survival. I just can't believe how stupid I was. I want this to be the last time.
I could use a hug right now. :( It can frustrating at times. Allow me to wallow in it for just a short while. You need to let your emotions flow in order for you to own it. Or something to that effect, not really sure how it was said. The point is, I should fully experience this sorrow in order for me to move on and grow.
I'm thankful that I have JC right beside me. I'm grateful that He has never let me down. I am blessed with so much, and I feel that I am wasting it all away. The fact that I am still here means I have a chance. And a choice.
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I could use a hug right now. :( It can frustrating at times. Allow me to wallow in it for just a short while. You need to let your emotions flow in order for you to own it. Or something to that effect, not really sure how it was said. The point is, I should fully experience this sorrow in order for me to move on and grow.
I'm thankful that I have JC right beside me. I'm grateful that He has never let me down. I am blessed with so much, and I feel that I am wasting it all away. The fact that I am still here means I have a chance. And a choice.
Sent from my BlackBerry®
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